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[tori]

Kolejny raz przeciągam ostrzem swojej bezsilności po niebieskich żyłach mojego życia.Wszytko przysłania ognista ciecz, płonąca od namiętności mojego istnienia.W tym czerwonym płynie zawiera się 20 lat mojego życia. Wypływają moje myśli, zludzenia, nadzieje, miłości, postanowienia, rozczarowania.Cała ja i te 20 lat zamienia się w czerwony potok, potok, który na mojej dłoni utworzył cienką stróżkę, strumyczek i tylko kap, kap, kap.........
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Kap! Upadła ostatnia moja myśl. Dołączyła do reszty, do całości. Całość to teraz tylko kałuża krwi na podłodze. Cała ja to tylko kałuża.Kałuża, która wyschnie, ale choćby próbowano ją zmyć, ślad barwy pozostanie. Nic nie zetrze tego co było barwą mojego istnienia. Choć wyblaknie to każdy powie, że tu była plama. To byłam ja.Byłam.
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Wraz z ostanią myśla opadły powieki. Rozmazuje się obraz, powoli zanika zupełnie.Ciemność.Już nic nie widzę, zdaje się, że nic już nie czuję, nie myślę. Docierają do mnie jeszcze dźwięki. Dźwięk kapania.Kap, kap, kap...Rytmicznie. Zaschło mi w gardle.Upaja mnie słodki, mdły zapach. Zapach życia, życia, które kona w samotnej kałuży.
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Nagle słyszę odgłosy na schodach.Szybkie kroki, bieg.Dzwonek do drzwi."O naiwny, jak mam teraz wstać i ci otworzyć?Drogi listonoszu, odejdź!Jestem zajęta umieraniem".Nie mogę krzyknąć: "Idź precz!" Nie mogę, suchość gardła wydaje tylko przykre syczenie.Pukanie, dzwonienie coraz silniejsze, natrętneKtoś wzywa moje imię. Ktoś prosi, błaga żebym otworzyła."Odejdź człowieku"- krzyczą moje myśli utopione w kałuży...
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Głos coraz dalszy, bardziej cichy, nie słyszę kapania, nie słyszę nic.Umarłam?Już?Przecież ciągle funkcjonują moje myśli. Czy tak to wygląda?Umierasz, ale nadal myślisz?
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Co się dzieje? Nagle stoję na zielonym wzgórzu, przede mną przepaść, piękna dolina, zieleń drzewa, błękitne niebo nad głową i mocne światło w oddali. Stoję nad przepaścią. Nie ma nikogo. Noga osuwa się na zboczu, teraz słyszę głosy, spadając w dół widzę nad sobą twarze, znajome twarze, wołają mnie, krzyczą.
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Spadłam. Oworzyłam oczy. Wszędzie biało, cisza, spokój. Niebo? Dźwięk kroplówki: kap, kap, kap..Znów się nie udało...
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Kolejny raz przeciągam ostrzem swojej bezsilności.......kap!

[kreska]

to jak początkująca poetyka snu...nic dobrego przed maturą...

pozdrawiam

ps. z ciekawości tori-ile masz lat? jak nie chcesz napisać dokładnie to jakiś przedział chociaż podaj :D

[tori]

Kresko..ciężko mi zoszyfrować Twoją wypowiedź i ustosunkować się do niej..Lat mam 20 :) żadna tajemnica :P
Pozdrawiam ciepło...do...hmm..pogadania:)

[tori]

Z ciekawość przejrzałam inne Twoje posty...Co do wspierania maturzytsów..to ja jestem zeszłoroczną..Pamiętam to jakby wszytsko działo się wczoraj..A ponieważ jestem straszną panikarą to przeżywałam chyba za pół Polski tą maturę..Stres ogormny, ale teraz z perspektywy czasu mogę śmiało powiedzieć , że zupełnie niepotrzebny...Jasne, ja wiem, że latwo tak mówic, a ciężko uwierzyć bo i sama w to wtedy uwierzyć nie chciałam..i pewnie się nie da tak zupełnie niestresować bo to nieodłączny elemnt towarzyszący jakimklowiek egzaminom, ale nie warto sobie pozwalać na niego za dużo, bo wszystko i tak będzie dobrze..Teraz ja to wiem, i się tu mądrze, a sama już sieję panikę wśród swoich bo niedługo sesja i egazminy...brrr...nio i jakoś się nie umiem nie stresować...i słuchać mądrych rad też nie umiem..Wiec pozostaję w pełni pogodzna z tym, że moje gadanie tu na nic się zda bo histeria i panika będą trwać!! Pozostaje mi więc życzyć powodzenia..Trzymam kciuki :))

p.s Maturę zdałam, na studia się dostałam, I semest zaliczyłam, stresu się nie oduczyłam :P

Pozdrawiam serdecznie...

[kreska]

dzięki za wsparcie...za dwie godziny oficjalny koniec szkoły :) -jeden z niewielu pozytywnych elementów całego tego zamieszania z maturą...

pozdrawiam i do napisania :)

[madziunia]

tori - podoba mi się, jakkolwiek to zabrzmi....
utkwiłaś w pamięci
to bardzo bliski mi temat, drażliwy
ale ok

[julia5]

TORI!!!!
twoj tekst jest niesamowity... nie wiem czy to wlasciwie slowo... ale jeszcze jakis czas temu powiedzialabym ze to wiersz o mnie... bliski... wiem jak to jest... wstrzasajacy, ale taka jest wlasnie smierc-wstrzasajaca. wiesz... w tym wierszu zawarlas wszystkie moje mysli i uczucia, tak jakbys mnie znala i pisala o mnie... i chociaz mnie nie znasz, chociaz nawet nie wiesz kim tak naprawde jestem...niewiele starsza od ciebie, ale wlasnie przez taki stan przeszlam. podoba mi sie? czy dobrze bedzie jak tak napisze? nie wiem... ale pisz dalej.... pozdrawiam. Julia.

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