Wiara

[larwa]

W domu – daleko i blisko od ludzi – zapalił ktoś świeczkę. Postał, popatrzył czy nie zgaśnie (taka natura ludzka: musi upewnić się, czy czynność została wykonana, jakby nie wierząc, że mogło się udać). Często tak, zwłaszcza z czynnościami, którymi coś zaczynamy lub kończymy.
Gasimy świeczkę i czekamy aż żar knota zniknie; co bardziej niecierpliwi pomagają sobie naślinionymi palcami.
Zapalamy palnik, stawiamy na nim gar a chwilę potem z głową pod garem: „czy na pewno się pali?”.
Prasowanie – ile razy można sprawdzać, czy wyłączone żelazko? Wiele.
Zamknąć drzwi i 2 razy wrócić, by sprawdzić.
Tak – koniec i początek, początek i koniec. Sprawdzamy, kontrolujemy, zamykamy, otwieramy. Trzeba nam czegoś, kogoś – co, kto utwierdzi, przekona. Sami sobie nie dowierzamy a wymagamy, by inni wierzyli nam.
Po co? Stworzyć, zdziwić się stworzeniu, męczyć stworzenie, zabić stworzenie, zakopać stworzenie w ziemi (najlepiej w pudełku – by upewnić się, że nie wyjdzie). Potem raz kiedyś pójść tam, gdzie płyta nagrobna i nabrać znów pewności, że nie wyszło, że tylko nasz mózg się myli i wciąż każe nam sprawdzać każdy początek i koniec.
Mało w nas (lepiej brzmi „w nas”, niż „we mnie”) wiary...

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